Singleness is a time in life when waiting is hard, there is no point in denying that. But, in times of life when waiting is hard, when our patience is tried and when nothing seems to be happening, that is when God is working in us, when He is transforming our hearts, when He is teaching us to listen to His word.
Waiting. It’s something that none of us like. Whether its waiting on food, on someone who is running late or, more importantly, on an answer to prayer, we all find it difficult. But it is such an important aspect of our faith in God that we need to practice it. Personally, I am not a very patient person, but waiting is something that I have been challenged with in my own personal walk with God. He challenged me to wait, even when it seemed like nothing was going to happen, even when it seemed like hope was lost and that I was never going to see an answer to my prayer, He reminded me to wait.
When it comes to singleness, one of the things I hated hearing was ‘just wait’ or ‘be patient’ or ‘it will happen when you least expect it’. To be honest I found this advice almost patronising, but it was so true. God calls us to wait on Him, for His timing is perfect. Psalm 27 was a passage of the Bible that I constantly made my way back to. Especially verse 14,
‘Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.’
It reminded me that I didn’t have to do the waiting on my own, but that God was strengthening my heart, changing my heart, making me ready and preparing me for the time when the waiting was over. But it’s important to remember that in the waiting we can’t just become idle and do nothing. Prayer is something which is key in all aspects of a relationship with Christ, but in the waiting we must pray. We find hope in prayer. We find strength in prayer. We lose fear in prayer. Prayer is the answer.
Singleness is a time in life when waiting is hard, there is no point in denying that. But, in times of life when waiting is hard, when our patience is tried and when nothing seems to be happening, that is when God is working in us, when He is transforming our hearts, when He is teaching us to listen to His word. It is in these moments when we can truly see the Hand of God move and when we can see His strength working in and through us. One of the things we often forget as a Christian who is waiting is that God is in control and He holds our futures. I love the beginning of the verse in Psalm 31 which begins, ‘My times are in Thy hands…’ How true that is, yet often we forget that and let worry, fear and doubt consume our thoughts. For Christ to be in control, to fully trust Him, we need to give this time of waiting to Him, whether that be in a time of singleness or a time when you are waiting for a different prayer to be answered, you need to give it to Him. During times of singleness when I was finding it tough, I had no other place to turn but to prayer and often it was in these moments that God comforted me and gave me peace that no other person or thing could give to me. God knows when our hearts and our intentions are to glorify His name and He has promised to honour those who honour Him (1 Samuel 2 v 30).
One of the main reasons I decided to wait and to let God lead me in a relationship was because I wanted to glorify Him. I knew that no matter how difficult it was, that the guy He would bring into my life would be special, that he would be from God. To be honest, there were probably many people who thought I was crazy. I was a 22-year-old who had never been on a proper date, never been kissed or been in a relationship with someone. The world looking at me was bound to say that I was odd or that there must have been something wrong with me. But to be honest, I could see the beauty in it. God had given me this time to realise that His ways are perfect and to prepare my heart for when I would be in a relationship. I knew from my early teens that God wanted me to wait and, so I made it a priority each day to pray that God would give me the patience, courage and peace that this required. I prayed that God would prepare my heart for the day when he would bring the right man into my life. Whether that would be in the next few months or in 20 years, I had to leave it in the hands of God. I had bad days, I must admit, when I felt ugly, lonely and unloved, and we will all experience those days.
I can’t write this and say that each one of us who has the desire to get married will or that you are going to meet someone right now, but I was reading a quote recently and it said,
‘God never denies us our heart’s desire except to give us something better.’
We must hold on to that and realise that God doesn’t withhold things from us to make us suffer but, so we appreciate these things more when they come to pass or when God leads us down a completely different path. Now looking back, I am thankful that God gave me the desire to wait. He has blessed me with a guy who firstly loves Him but also loves me and encourages me in my walk with God. He has provided me with more than I could have ever imagined and now I can thank Him that in the waiting He was always there.
By Rebecca Roberts.
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