“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Roosevelt
“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Roosevelt
It’s 30 degrees out, I’m sitting in a lovely hotel, and I feel weighed down.
I look around me and I sigh, closing in on myself, tears threatening to drop. Why, you ask?
I look around me and I see beautiful women that are comfortable in their own skin, that look great in bikinis, whose legs don’t resemble earthquake tremors when they walk. I look around me and I see a father and daughter on holidays, just the two of them, laughing over a Nutella sandwich. I look around me and I see families enjoying holidays together, mother, father and children. And I just feel sad.
I know, I know. I sound like THE most ungrateful girl in the world right now. I am so aware of that. But my problem is that I am too aware. I have become so fixated on others that I’ve lost sight of Christ and who he says I am. I see what others have - whether that be beauty, money or happy families, and jealousy turns me a horrid shade of green.
Comparison sparks jealousy, which sparks unhappiness and discontentment. Round and round I go, stuck in this cycle of comparison, distancing myself from God as I let my jealousy and anger take the reigns. Comparison leads me to focus on that which I do not have, rather than what I do have. Yet, if I step back, I already have what I need and abundantly more.
So these words shared by Roosevelt have been rattling around my head for the last few days and weeks, and wholeheartedly, I agree. For me, comparison is that which stops me from being joyful. Instead, I pause, stuck in ‘if onlys’…
If only I was a size 8
If only I had tried harder at A levels
If only I was more outgoing…
Comparison has convinced me that I’d be content if only I had what others have. It has convinced me that I always need more. Yet, that’s not the case. For a long time I have been blinded by my constant striving for more and more, but I am not seeking in the right place. When we desire ungodly things, when we make idols out of items and people, we will never find peace, our greed and dissatisfaction will only grow and grow.
It is only through the grace of God, and continued prayer for a peaceful and content heart that we rid ourselves of the shackles of comparison. Upon putting our identity in Him, we have a new purpose, not in this world but in Him.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 ESV
Even as I’m writing this I am thinking of my own experience with this. Very often when I find myself in this situation I remind myself that the things of this world are not important, and I’ll be okay for a little while. But, as humans do, then daily life continues and I forget about God and His promises, and once more I am tempted by the devil’s whispers in my ear.
I’m not here to offer a one-trick solution to the comparison you endure in your life, and your woes may differ from my own, but I am here to say that I know what you’re going through. I may not be able to rid you of comparison, but the Lord your Father can. It is only through His tender reassurance and picking us up when we are sobbing on the floor. It is only through turning to him and understanding that you are of infinite worth to your heavenly Father to the point that he would send his only Son to die so we can be reconciled to him, that you muffle out the lies of the devil.
Matthew 6:25-26 is often quoted when considering our worth, but don’t gloss over these words. Let them sink in.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
I am not capable of realigning your heart and understanding of what you’re truly worth, but He is. When you feel worthless and as tiny as a mouse, hear these words, “Are you not much more valuable than they?”. Your Father delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17), you were created by His loving hands, those which will hold you upright and those that were nailed to a cross so that you would always know how deeply and truly loved you are. Just you, as you are. Not you that is 2 stone lighter or heavier. Not you who is stretch-mark free. Not you who is a couple inches taller or smaller. Just you. As you are, now.
So, dear friends, when you find your life overcome with constant comparison, take a moment to remind yourself of your identity in Christ. Remember your God who “delights in every detail of [your] life” (Psalm 37:23).
By Sophie Chadwick.
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