Sometimes we have no words, nothing to describe how we are truly feeling. We look to those around us, who seem to have it all together. We want what they have, we want our joy back. We are tired with disappointment and hurt. Where do we turn to in those moments?
I can say I have definitely felt like this, wondering where God has went when I feel I have given Him everything that I hold close to my heart. I always wondered where I should turn with my questions of why things turn out the way they do and why God has allowed me to face things that seemed far too much to overcome. And the answer is simple, it is to turn to Him. He wants honest prayers, He hears, feels and sees our deepest hurts and is calling out for us to turn to Him.
The Psalms are evidence of this; Psalm 88 is a picture of calling to god in our deepest need “I’m standing my ground, God, shouting for help. Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear? Why do you make yourself scarce? For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting; I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I’ve had it. Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life; I’m bleeding black and blue… the only friend I have left is darkness.”
God doesn’t want us to hide our pain from Him, He wants us to be honest and go to Him with every need. We need to confront our pain to allow ourselves to heal and to let God pick us back up again and place us on solid ground. The most painful part of all of this is recognising that it will take time, patience and accepting that it is ok to admit that you are not ok. It is ok to admit that you are disappointed with how things have turned out, but don’t get stuck in that place. Lean in to God, pray when you have no words left and let Him lead you into the future He has planned for you.
“Falling on my knees in worship, giving all I am to seek your face. Lord all I am is yours. My whole life I place in Your hands. God of mercy humbled I bow down” - Hillsong
By Rachel Smylie
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