'As I sit here - I have no words.
In all honesty, my heart is filled with fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. Fear of everything. It feels as though the telephone line between God and I has been severed, and loneliness engulfs me.
I stray, I stop, I sit, I wait, I try to speak but I have no words. I cannot articulate the thoughts or feelings that I have.
Inside my head, I am on my knees crying out to God, but I do not know where He is. For too long, I have tried to do things on my own. I am exhausted, tired, weary and worn out.'
I wonder if you have ever felt this way. Feeling alone, confused, afraid - and worst of all, alone. Sometimes it can feel as though there is no end to sorrow and pain. Yet, I assure there is.
It is human nature to stray and rebel, to think we know best, but know that He is faithful when we are not. He is faithful when when run from him. He is faithful when we let him down. Throughout the Bible we see time and time again the faithfulness of God, He never leaves his people despite them leaving him and turning their backs over and over. The Word of God is filled with the laments and sorrows of those who are familiar with this pain and struggle.
It is easy to get stuck in this place, but the laments are not where their stories end. Although the Bible is filled with stories of sadness, it is also filled with stories of great joy. There is hope in the grace of God, cling to this hope when you have lost sight of everything else.
I know it can seem impossible - picking up the Bible, whispering the words of a prayer, even standing upright can require mustering every ounce of strength you have. Amidst this know that you are loved, you are valued, you are seen and you are known by the most wonderful, forgiving and loving Father, who promises to never leave you even when the weight of this world is too much. Time and time again He promises to uphold you and give you strength, and He is a God who keeps his promises.
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